At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
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just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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