Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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