If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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