I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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