I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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