haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize