there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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