This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
