so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
