A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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