if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
