I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
