he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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