mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
