so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
