The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
