is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
