But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
