What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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