Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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