My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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