Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize