Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
