My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
