I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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