the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
