ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
