Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My pussy is not your playground.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
