Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
