So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
