Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
