i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize