toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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