just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize