Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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