So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
