I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
