I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
