I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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