And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
In other news, I just burned my penis
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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