You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize