I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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