Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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