No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize