And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my shit smells like andre
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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