I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
