Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
