I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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