i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
