nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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