i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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