she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
