As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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