the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize