I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I want to be your penis for a week.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
