god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize