i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
porn star boner night. come get it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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