She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
