Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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