i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
