Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize